Searching...
Monday, July 9, 2012

Five Minute 6-Lesson Management Course (Fun MBA)

> > Five Minute 6-Lesson Management Course
business_human_resources   
> > Lesson 1:
> > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing
> > up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself
> > in a towel and runs downstairs.
> >
> > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
> >
> > Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop
> > that towel.'
> >
> > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
> > stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands
> > her $800 and leaves.
> >
> > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
> >
> > When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
> >
> > 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
> >
> > 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
> > me?'
> >
> > Moral of the story:
> > If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
> > your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
> > exposure.
> >
> > ----------
> > Lesson 2:
> > A priest offered a Nun a lift.
> > She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
> >
> > The priest nearly had an accident.
> >
> > After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
> >
> > The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
> >
> > The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
> > up her leg again.
> >
> >
> > The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
> >
> > The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
> >
> > Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
> >
> > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up
> > Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
> > glory.'
> >
> > Moral of the story:
> > If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
> > opportunity.
> >
> > ----------
> > Lesson 3:
> >
> > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
> > lunch when ! they find an antique oil lamp.
> >
> > They rub it and a Genie comes out.
> > The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
> > 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas
> > , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
> >
> >
> > Puff! She's gone.
> >
> > 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
> > relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
> > Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
> >
> > Puff! He's gone.
> >
> > 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
> > The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
> >
> > Moral of the story:
> > Always let your boss have the first say.
> >
> > ----------
> > Lesson 4
> >
> > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
> > A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and
> > do nothing?'
> > The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
> >
> > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
> > All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
> >
> > Moral of the story:
> > To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
> >
> >
> > ----------
> > Lesson 5
> >
> > A turkey was chatting with a bull.
> >
> > 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the
> > turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
> > 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
> > They're packed with nutrients.'
> >
> > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
> > enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
> >
> > The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
> >
> > Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
> > of the tree.
> >
> > He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
> >
> > Moral of the story:
> > Bull SHIT might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
> >
> > ----------
> > Lesson 6
> >
> > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
> > froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
> >
> > While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
> >
> > As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
> > realize how warm he was.
> >
> > The dung was actually thawing him out!
> >
> > He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
> > A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
> >
> > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
> > dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
> >
   
> > Morals of the story:
> > (1) Not everyone who SHITs on you is your enemy.
> >
> > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of SHIT is your friend.
> >
> > (3) And when you're in deep SHIT, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
> >
> > THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

0 comments:

 
Back to top!